Top 10 Things To Do When The Person In Line Behind You Is Standing Too Close.

I was in line (of course) at the bank the other day and the person behind me was invading my personal space. Curiously it's almost always a male that does this, the funny thing is I never see a male standing too close to another male. What's up with that? Anyway these are just a few things I thought of to make the personal space invader feel as unfomfortable as they make me feel.

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My Top Ten.

10) Turn to them and ask "May I have this dance?"

9) Strike up a conversation w/them and say "I forgot to take my meds I hope the voices don't start telling me to do things again"

8) Ask them if your depends is leaking.

7) Turn to them while scratching your head vigorously and say "Don't you hate it when your kids come home from school with lice?"

6) Blow in their face and ask "Does my breath stink?"

5) Turn and cough in their face then say "Excuse me!"

4) Turn and say "I think something was wrong with that steak [gag] I think I'm gonna hurl"

3) Ask them if chickens can get sick because you think your pet chickens have the flu.

2) Take a step back so that the back of your head is touching their nose.

1) Fart (you know, one of those silent but deadly ones) then turn around and look at him like he did it.